It’s OK That You’re Not OK (Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand)

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When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.”

So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible?

In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides―as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner―Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn:

• Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief
• How challenging the myths of grief―doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold―allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve
• Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to “fix” your pain
• How to help the people you love―with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process

Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to “solve” grief. Megan writes, “Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution.” Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face―in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world.

It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves―and each other―better.

From the Publisher

It's OK That You're Not OKIt's OK That You're Not OK

A book for grieving people and those who love them

It's OK That You're Not OKIt's OK That You're Not OK

Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.

This book provides a path to rethink our relationship with grief. It encourages readers to see their grief as a natural response to death and loss, rather than an aberrant condition needing transformation. By shifting the focus from grief as a problem to be solved to an experience to be tended, we give the reader what we most want for ourselves: understanding, compassion, validation, and a way through the pain.

It’s OK That You’re Not OK shows readers how to live with skill and compassion during their grief, but it isn’t just a book for people in pain: this book is about making things better for everyone. All of us are going to experience deep grief or loss at some point in our lives. All of us are going to know someone living great loss. Loss is a universal experience.

It's OK That You're Not OK

It's OK That You're Not OK

It's OK That You're Not OK

It's OK That You're Not OK

It's OK That You're Not OK

It's OK That You're Not OK

It's OK That You're Not OK

It's OK That You're Not OK

Navigating Early Grief

Explore the cultural and historical reluctance to feel grief. And while it won’t change anything inside your loss, hearing your personal experience set against the wider, broken culture can help shift things somehow, offer needed acknowledgment of how hard this really is.

Tools for Living in Your Grief

Exercises to help you manage the mental, emotional, even physical side effects related to your loss, and find tiny windows of calm where things aren’t all better, but they are somewhat easier to carry.

Rallying Your Support Team

Learn how to help a grieving friend as well as how to offer your friends and loved ones guidance on how they can best support you in your grief.

The Community of After

Dive into the ways we find true support and companionship inside loss, and the ways that pain—and love—get integrated into a life lived alongside loss.

It’s OK That You’re Not OK (Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand)
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